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4 minutes ago
you always told me that you love me, that you were trustyworthy. you always were worried about me, how i was feeling after someome makes a joke about me - insecurities only you know i think about. you would check up on me in class, "are you okay" and i would turn around to see you and your eyes were soft and you lips came into a small, comforting smile. you always wanted to protect me. but you were smart enough to understand when. you knew exactly that you would be helpless into standing against my parents verbal abuse, or the stress i get, and my deepest darkest thoughts. you know exactly when i just need you for the hugs, the forehead kiss, or simply need that boost of confidence. i loved you for that.
although, its my fault because i never trusted you, and it bothered you, it killed you inside not having all of me.
its my fault because i didnt want you to - the people in the past have ruined my constantly, trust issues got the worst of us. the worst of me.
and it took you away.
it took my love and happiness away.
my best friend was gone
and once again, i was alone.
i had no one protecting me from the insecurities that ate up all the happy thoughts i would have. no strong arms keeping me safe from things that could potentially hurt me.
why didnt you know out of all the things that you said, that you did, that all the hard work you fucking put into me to keep me from pain, that it would be you leaving me. that the most excruciating thing you could ever do is take away your smile and laugh and love. how could you not know? why why why would you do that to me?
"the things you said" -a.m.t
7 minutes ago